My Life

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

[.5.]

So, now im sitting here with tears coming down my face. You wanna know why right? You can know, but you don’t know how bad it hurts me. You have no idea what so ever. Dezzy is gone and I miss her so much. I never knew how much I missed her until tonight. Why did she have to call that stupid boy in the first place?!! If it wasn’t for that phone call, she would still be here. I wish she would come back, but not to live w/ her ignorant gramma. She went back to Mississippi b/c of her for one reason nd the other reason b/c of Gleek. I don’t even know how to get a hold of her right now. I need to talk to her sooo bad, but its jus been impossible. She is my best friend but I wish it wasn’t like this. I didn’t know it was gonna be like this nd I hoped that it wouldn’t, but I really don’t blame her for going back home. Her gramma is the most ignorant person on this earth nd we just hate her . Im sure that me nd Dez will share many more fun nd silly moments one day. I hope so!! Dezzy I love you..You are the friend that every girl needs. I will always be here for u no matter what, I will not jus drop you b/c u moved back home. I jus can’t do that.

Now that I got all that out, I feel soo much better. My night has been very slow nd very interesting w/ Dusko playing games on the computer..pretending to be his cousin. When he first IM’d me, I had the feeling it was him. His cousin has only IM’d me once and his cousin didn’t type like that. I knew it was him but I played w/ him for a minute.

SOULJA 409 [8:23 PM]: hello

SOULJA 409 [8:23 PM]: aslr

Tiara x araiT x [8:23 PM]: who is this

SOULJA 409 [8:23 PM]: its a boi

Tiara x araiT x [8:23 PM]: right

SOULJA 409 [8:23 PM]: yep

SOULJA 409 [8:24 PM]: so what u doin

Tiara x araiT x [8:24 PM]: umm makin pics

SOULJA 409 [8:25 PM]: let me get some

Tiara x araiT x [8:25 PM]: not right now

SOULJA 409 [8:25 PM]: ok

Tiara x araiT x [8:26 PM]: k

SOULJA 409 [8:26 PM]: but when

Tiara x araiT x [8:27 PM]: whenever i get done

SOULJA 409 [8:27 PM]: iight

Tiara x araiT x [8:28 PM]: k

SOULJA 409 [8:32 PM]: can isee it now

SOULJA 409 [8:32 PM]: u got any nude pics fo me

Tiara x araiT x [8:32 PM]: could

SOULJA 409 [8:32 PM]: let me see some

SOULJA 409 [8:34 PM]: so can i see some

SOULJA 409 [8:35 PM]: u there

SOULJA 409 [8:36 PM]: tiara is u gon send me any

SOULJA 409 [8:37 PM]: are u gon talk to me

Tiara x araiT x [8:38 PM]: u gotta pic?

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: i sended u my pic

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: rememba

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: u said u was workin on ur new ones

Tiara x araiT x [8:38 PM]: oh no u didnt send me that pic

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: and that u would send em to me

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: i did

Tiara x araiT x [8:39 PM]: so quit lyin

SOULJA 409 [8:39 PM]: u said i was cute

Tiara x araiT x [8:39 PM]: whateva

Tiara x araiT x [8:39 PM]: dont wanna hear it

SOULJA 409 [8:39 PM]: u don believe me

Tiara x araiT x [8:39 PM]: nope

SOULJA 409 [8:39 PM]: i don no but u said i was cute q

SOULJA 409 [8:40 PM]: im mixed

SOULJA 409 [8:40 PM]: half blk and white

Tiara x araiT x [8:40 PM]: send it aggain

SOULJA 409 [8:40 PM]: i cant i have to download a program because i jus got my com resterted

Tiara x araiT x [8:41 PM]: rightt so here u go w/ these retarded excuses

SOULJA 409 [8:41 PM]: u don believe me how bout if i jus say that i dont have a scanner

Tiara x araiT x [8:41 PM]: ok lets just say....u dont have a pic, u didnt send it to me, and that ur lying

SOULJA 409 [8:41 PM]: srry bout lien to u

SOULJA 409 [8:42 PM]: are u mad at me

Tiara x araiT x [8:42 PM]: see there i thought so

Tiara x araiT x [8:42 PM]: i know what i be talkin about

SOULJA 409 [8:42 PM]: yeah i jus wanted to say only to get ur pic thas all

SOULJA 409 [8:43 PM]: srry

Tiara x araiT x [8:43 PM]: yeah i know all about it

SOULJA 409 [8:43 PM]: but i promise u i aint ugly

Tiara x araiT x [8:43 PM]: lol iight

SOULJA 409 [8:44 PM]: ok

SOULJA 409 [8:44 PM]: so u got a bf

Tiara x araiT x [8:44 PM]: no

Tiara x araiT x [8:44 PM]: u?

SOULJA 409 [8:44 PM]: umm im not gay

SOULJA 409 [8:45 PM]: im seeing someone but i don have a gurl

Tiara x araiT x [8:45 PM]: whats ur name

SOULJA 409 [8:45 PM]: marcus

Tiara x araiT x [8:46 PM]: oh ok

Tiara x araiT x [8:46 PM]: how old r u

SOULJA 409 [8:46 PM]: 16

Tiara x araiT x [8:46 PM]: when do you turn 17

SOULJA 409 [8:47 PM]: next year

Tiara x araiT x [8:47 PM]: tru

SOULJA 409 [8:48 PM]: so ur tiara

Tiara x araiT x [8:48 PM]: yes i am

SOULJA 409 [8:48 PM]: iight `

SOULJA 409 [8:48 PM]: so can i see ur nude pic plz

Tiara x araiT x [8:49 PM]: no

SOULJA 409 [8:49 PM]: ok if u say so

Tiara x araiT x [8:49 PM]: ur begging and thats one thing i cant stand

SOULJA 409 [8:50 PM]: iight im jus sayin

Tiara x araiT x [8:50 PM]: what side of jax?

SOULJA 409 [8:50 PM]: eastside

Tiara x araiT x [8:51 PM]: ohh

SOULJA 409 [8:51 PM]: so is u gon send it tom me im not gon to beg i jus wanna see it

Tiara x araiT x [8:52 PM]: yeahh im sure u do dusko

SOULJA 409 [8:52 PM]: whos that

Tiara x araiT x [8:52 PM]: but u shouldnt play games like that jus 2 get more pics

Tiara x araiT x [8:52 PM]: soo ttyl bye

SOULJA 409 [8:53 PM]: bye

SOULJA 409 [8:53 PM]: whos dusko

Tiara x araiT x [8:53 PM]: quit playin

SOULJA 409 [8:53 PM]: iight but whos that

Tiara x araiT x [8:53 PM]: u nigga

SOULJA 409 [8:54 PM]: man that aint me its hios cousin

Tiara x araiT x [8:54 PM]: yeah but whatever i dont care

SOULJA 409 [8:54 PM]: so can i see em

Tiara x araiT x [8:54 PM]: peace

SOULJA 409 [8:54 PM]: man why u gotta be like that

Tiara x araiT x [8:55 PM]: nah y u gotta be like that

SOULJA 409 [8:55 PM]: srry

Tiara x araiT x [8:55 PM]: y u gotta be on another sn tryin to get more pics from me when all u had to do was ask in the first place

SOULJA 409 [8:55 PM]: because u wouldnt send em

SOULJA 409 [8:55 PM]: rememba

SOULJA 409 [8:56 PM]: and i wanted to see if u was lien to me

Tiara x araiT x [8:56 PM]: well u shouldnt be ignorant all the time

SOULJA 409 [8:56 PM]: bout bois and shit

Tiara x araiT x [8:56 PM]: yeah iight i dont lie

Tiara x araiT x [8:56 PM]: and if i was with somebody i would let u know, but apparently you wont

Tiara x araiT x [8:56 PM]: but its ok because reall y i dont care who ur with

SOULJA 409 [8:57 PM]: im with noone

Tiara x araiT x [8:57 PM]: and i knew it was you from the very start

Tiara x araiT x [8:57 PM]: im not stupiddd like u think i am

Tiara x araiT x [8:57 PM]: lol

Tiara x araiT x [8:57 PM]: damn

SOULJA 409 [8:57 PM]: lol

Tiara x araiT x [8:58 PM]: so i hope you've learned ur lesson and the next time u try this...u best believe u will fail again

SOULJA 409 [8:58 PM]: lol

SOULJA 409 [8:58 PM]: so can i see em

Tiara x araiT x [8:58 PM]: no dusko not right now didnt i tell u i was doin somethin

Tiara x araiT x [8:59 PM]: sooo what r u ....blind?

SOULJA 409 [8:59 PM]: yeah

Tiara x araiT x [8:59 PM]: ok then

SOULJA 409 [8:59 PM]: daim why u all up on me

Tiara x araiT x [8:59 PM]: think about it

Tiara x araiT x [9:00 PM]: marcus

SOULJA 409 [9:00 PM]: ok

SOULJA 409 [9:00 PM]: i was jus checkin up on u

Tiara x araiT x [9:00 PM]: why do u have to check up on me

Tiara x araiT x [9:01 PM]: thats just like sayin u dont trust me when u said u did

SOULJA 409 [9:01 PM]: well i was makin sure

Tiara x araiT x [9:01 PM]: u dont tell ppl u trust them if u dont know for sure

SOULJA 409 [9:01 PM]: u jus acted wierd thats why

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: well gotta go

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: bye see ya later

Tiara x araiT x [9:02 PM]: bye

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: is u mad

Tiara x araiT x [9:02 PM]: nah im just happy u know ur plan failllllllled

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: peace ;-)

Tiara x araiT x [9:02 PM]: bye

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: iight

SOULJA 409 signed off at 9:02 PM

ugh..I gotta go. I don’t have a lot to say right now, but I do have a lot on my mind.

Tiara

Posted at 08:06 pm by BeautifuLxTTx

Saturday, July 10, 2004

[.4.]

It’s veRy hot out 2day. Nothing 2much happened 2day that was exciting. I been sLeepy aLL day. I think Ima quit taking the aLLeRgy piLLs b/c I don’t ReaLLy need 2 take em. I guess I need 2 stay away fRom cig. smoke. Soo yes, u..stay away fRom me w/ dat shit. I gotta keep taking bc nd weLLbutRin tho.

Soo anywayz, I am absoLuteLy done w/ DanieL. I hate him. I don’t even know y. Its juss something theRe that I can’t ReaLLy point out. Oh weLL. I gotta cRush on PabLo! He is so beautifuL I think... He said he wants 2 "hook up" haha. I think ima tRy it tho. ALthough I do have some doubts... I don’t wanna taLk about it Right now. But im say’n man...he got aLL u boyzzzzzzzzz beat. LoL. Im not suRe if we hook’d up eaRLieR this moRning oR wat...I think I toLd him that I wouLd think about some things.

The most impoRtant paRt of this journaL is something I tRuLy can’t b’lieve happened the otheR day. ::FIGHTY DIED:: Its soo damn unb’LievabLe. Its Like damn, cuz I ReaLLy Loved him nd he wouLd aLways wanna pLay w/ me. I Love ya Fighty nd I wiLL aLwayz RemembeR u! SpoiLed LiL thing. :’(. R.I.P. *MUAH*

-IM OUT- HOLLER AT U BABII!-

Posted at 04:45 pm by BeautifuLxTTx
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Wednesday, July 07, 2004

[.3.]

::Music:: Whiskey Lullaby
::TaLk'n 2:: BRad

I had 2 get up at 7:15 this moRning. I went 2 the doctoR. My resuLts weRe - I have a smaLL infection nd my other resuLt is unknown Right now. They aRe be'n called pRe-canceRous ceLLs. So, they have 2 take the sLide fRom the pap 2 anotheR Lab 2 c if canceR is pResent nd if they can't deteRmine if theRe ReaLLy is canceR theRe, then I have 2 take anotheR pap smeaR, but a diffeRent type of pap smeaR wheRe they fReeze some ceLLs on my ceRvix nd then scRape the "fRozen" ceLLs off. heh. I gotta do it at a diffeRent office aLso. :-|

I am on moRe medications now. Medicine foR my infection, 2 types of aLLeRgy piLLs, some Nasonex, anti-depRessant piLLs nd biRth contRoL. I gotta take aLL of em eveRyday man. HopefuLLy I won't b dRowsy. I go back in about 2 moRe weeks. Sux 4 me tho.

Me nd Dan R soRta taLk'n again. Not as much as we used 2. I wanna keep it that way tho. It's good.

I met a boy named Sam Last night. He's a cutie pie. He bRought me Subway. How sweet huh...I was staRving 2. Yeah, we went 2 WaL-MaRt nd I got some fLip fLops juss 2 weaR 2 the doctoR. I need 2 go 2 dah maLL so bad. He got me a Spongebob posteR 2..hehehehehehe. He doesn't say much. I guess it's b/c he juss met me nd ya'LL know how I am I wiLL taLk ya 2 death. But, he pRetty coo actuaLLy.

I think me nd my ma aRe go'n 2 Panama this weekend. I feeL Like juss stay'n heRe fukk'n dRink'n nd juss chiLLen, watch'n movies nd stuff. Juss chiLL. I haven't done that in a Long time nd it juss sounds so good.

Posted at 12:27 pm by BeautifuLxTTx
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Thursday, July 01, 2004

[.2.]

::CRAMPS:: :| Im pRetty sick this moRning. Im supposed 2 b go'n shopp'n when my ma get off woRk. I am gLad im the onLy chiLd now. Even moRe spoiLed. YesteRday... I went to WaL- MaRt ( woo hoo :\ ) to look 4 anotheR web cam. I found one. My ma said she wass gonna get it 4 me today. She spent aLL heR money on *something*. Ya, yesteRday she had 2 go 2 dah doctoR nd we Rode w/ Mrs. Ivory. She's fun 2 taLk 2. HeR gRandson LiL TRoy is so fine.....I went 2 ALachua aLso....2 get Nessa's Tyrese. 5 yR oLd. I shouLdn't have ate Mc DonaLd's yesteRday...I think this is why im sick today. Them fRies...

My oLdest sisteR Amy went 2 jaiL Monday...CamiLLe's daddy wass stepp'n on heR phone nd she beat em up nd cut em...PooR thing...haha. She gotta take some angeR management cLass. Lucky they didn't chaRge her w/ attempted muRdeR...ahhh vioLence.

5 moRe dayz tiL I go 2 dah doctoR : |

*I Luh Mat* Xxo .TT. oxX

[.Listening 2.] ---FURB---

Posted at 06:42 am by BeautifuLxTTx

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

[.1.]

I made another bLog. I need'd 2. WeLL, my Life has been so busy! LoL. As if. I been kinda shady 2 eveRyone, except 4 a few. Don’t ReaLLy feeL Like be’n botheRed w/ these Lake City ppL. They R wack... You juss wouLdn’t b’Lieve.

Me nd Dan R supposiveLy sepaRated. He keeps caLL’n tho. WeLL, I wouLdn’t ReaLLy caLL it be’n sepaRated ------ We R go’n ouR sepaRate wayz tiL things can get betteR. Right now, things aRen’t go’n 2 woRk out 2 weLL. We Love eachotheR nd we aLwayz wiLL Love eachotheR nd no one can eveR change that. I wiLL b the motheR of his childRen soon enough. I can’t wait Dan!! Even though I decided that we need’d 2 b separated or w/e I stiLL Love u, nd I know u stiLL Love me nd I know u miss taLk’n 2 me.

N e how, nothing’s been go’n on in my Life LateLy. EveRy one has been a totaL boRe. ALL summeR. BRad is supposiveLy coming up this weekend....I b’Lieve he is Lying. I know boyz way 2 gewd. They can’t fooL me n e moRe.

I met a kidd named Matt 2 dayz ago. I caLL him Matty. I think I Like him. We been taLk’n on dah phone foR houRs nd houRs. AppaRently his fav. woRd is what? I hate Repeating myseLf tho. So...I juss say...what??. hehe. Uh, he is taLL nd cute nd he gotta caR. We get aLong ReaLLy good. It’s unb’LievabLe. I do enjoy taLk’n 2 him. He Live 80 something miLe’s away tho. That sux... Y he gotta Live so faR 4??

Ok..I’ve been tRy’n 2 b happy since 2 yesteRday...afteR dah doctoR’s caLLed. I went to dah doctoR June 2^nd foR a pap smeaR. I wass supposed 2 go bacc in August. WeLL, now I have 2 go back immediateLy, which is next Tuesday. A pap smeaR is done 2 detect canceR oR bacteRia in the Uterus/ceRvix. I wiLL Let u conceRned ppL know what’s up. I hope it’s nothing 2 seRious. :|

Im woRk'n on a new page...It shouLd be done soon. Xxo .TT. oxX

Posted at 06:50 am by BeautifuLxTTx
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