My Life

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

[.6.]

Listening2: Mirror Mirror ::Kelly Price::

I jus got up._.

Hey ya'll. School started for me last Thursday & I still hate everything about it. Im still riding the bus! lol. It's not as crowded on there as last year cuz we gotta bigger one. Hey about time....all them fkkiin middle schoolers. Im glad Jeanine ride my bus cuz b4 Dez left she was the only one I could talk to, besides Redneck Dan. I miss muh girl soo much yo! Jeanine's been talking about her man Daniel in Colorado lately...been saying nothin but good things...oh he's such a good boyfriend, he ain't cheatin & yada yada ya. You cannot tell me that he ain't cheatin! LMAO. She is crazy! She only be seein him on Christmas break, Spring break, and summer. C'mon. We all know how males are. But, you know I don't say nothin! I jus listen...don't wanna hurt nobody feelinz. [hehe]

Anyway, I didn't go 2 school yesterday cuz...IONO. I went 2 day. I got on dah bus this morning & Craig was tryna talk to me. He was sittin there tellin Jeanine..her boyfriend cheatin on her cuz he all the way in CO. LMAO, I knew I wasn't the only one. She gets mad about that though. I believe that Craig wants me even though he don't remember me that well cuz last year he moved cuz he got in trouble...He was jus grabbin on me n shit yo, tryin to hold my hand, kept asking me if I had a boyfriend. I was like nah, but im looking. He was like, why u lookin & I said I was just used to having a boyfriend. Then he asked how many boyfriends have I had this year & you know, then I told him about me & my ex & what happened. I like him, hes fun to be around.Then, me him & Jeanine we're juss chillen & he was tryna be cute, makin all these lil comments to me around Jeanine, talkin bout, girl, you need a boyfriend you can TRUST, you need somebody that LIVE by you...You can even WALK to my house. I was like...word. Jeanine was clueless. I thought it was pretty fkkin silly. She finally caught on 2 all of it. She got mad..... She was like, I would walk to him from here. Ugh, there ain't enough love in this world. From Fl 2 CO?? lol...get da fkk outta here. But anyways, about Craig...he wants me, even Jeanine said. He's got the prettiest brown eyes 2. When we got off the bus 2 go the the hell hole, he came up & put his arm around me & once again...you need a boyfriend & and then I finally just said, what are you trying to say?? heh, he was like man you know what im tryin to say. So, he got muh #. I like him though, but there's just something about him that I don't wanna mention. I dunno if he called me tonight or what cuz I came home & went straight 2 fkkin sleep..lol. I got up 'round 10.

I wass supposed to go to the dentist today 2 get this tooth removed but my ma forgot. Pissed me off man. It was in Gainesville. I gotta have surgery. Hopefully I can get it out soon cuz it's bothering me like crazy.

My birthday is in about 2 more months ya'll. If you want me 2 remember your birthday on my subprofile so I can send you something, you need to write me in the chat or email me your birthday & address @ sweetxcheri69@yahoo.com .

I repierced my nose Saturday night but!!!!!!!! I got mad b'cuz for some reason, after I pierced it, the damn stud wouldn't go in no matter how hard I pushed it. I have 2 look into that a lil more...Figure something out. I actually pierced it again today and I still got the piercer in my nose. I went to sleep with it in hoping that the hole will expand more. I'll try 2 put the stud in in the morning. It hurtsssssssss. lol. Ima prob have to wait for it to close up, but that will take a long ass time. Iono..we'll see what happens in the morning. I jus don't understand how the piercer can go in & 30 times but the stud won't even go through once.

Amy & I get along so much better now. We had a big family party over here Friday & Saturday. We get along but, for you Jax ppl, that doesn't mean im going to go stay with her. lol. NO NO NO.

I went to the doctor Friday. They didn't find any cancer or any STD's but I have to have a pap every June. Every female should really. My doctor put me on another medicine, but im still on depression pills & im off of bc til next month & im still taking allergy pills. The meds that she put me on are just for cramps when im on my period b'cuz I get soooo sick when Im on my period. So, really im takin depression pills & allergy pills now which is good.

Well, last night I came across Dan's letter & the cards he sent me on our anniversary. Here's the letter... :'(. He's gonna kill me....

TIARA!!!

This is my "new" letter. I'm trying very hard not to mess up this one. (My handwriting is bad enough w.o the mess ups) Soooooo!!! I love you! And im ready to spend alot of if not, all of my life with u. I know how u said we live so far apart, but it's funny we both don't care because love is love, there's no way around it and there aren't enough miles on the earth to keep us apart. I wanna take care of u in ways that no one else can, and I want u to take care of me in ways that no one else can. (Not necessarily sex, get ur mind out the gutter.) U better learn how to cook tho, (for our kids n-e-way) N e wayz, I can't wait until you can lay in my bed wit me and we can talk and play around, and you can whisper in my ear cuz I love when you whisper. I love you so much TIARA SHANNAE SANTOS and I want you to be mine forever and give my father the grandson he's always wanted (that my brother never gave him). He has a grandson, but not another Santos boy, and I want you to be the mother if thats ok with you. (Better be). Right now, Im on the phone with u and I just got home from Wal-Mart with my mom...Gettin your anniversary stuff. Hope ya like it. (U better!!) If you don't like it, I'll still love you. But I know you will cuz it's from me sooo..IDK. Im hungry as usual and u don't think that Im gonna go eat chinese with my parents, but do I got news for you!!! LOL. But, n-e-wayz I want to be with u Tiara.When I went to the hospital this morning to see my sisters friends baby that was born on 6/13/04 at 8:13 AM. I thought about us and how I want to be there when our baby boy comes out and I want to hold your hand the whole time (unless u start hittin me) lol. But seriously, I love you, and I want you to be the mother of my children and my wife. And I hope that you wait for me mamaz Cuz I need you. My sisters friends baby was beautiful and I know that ours will be the most precious little thing on this earth. I hope you're ready. I love you

Your Husband,

Daniel

I realize that I miss him soo much & It makes me wanna cry cuz Im not talking to him anymore. It hurts me. I really love him with every inch of my heart & I still feel that hes the love of my life, my children's father, my husband 4-ever. I didn't mean what I said..I really didn't. Sometimes at night I think of what hes doing, where he's at, who he's with & I wonder if he misses me like I miss him & I wonder if he thinks about me like I think about him!!! I know that he still loves me cuz he did promise he would love me forever. Nothing & no one can ever change how I feel about him. Daniel, if you're reading this plz..im sorry, I do wanna be in you're life, I didn't mean that, Im sorry! I love you!

*IM OUT*

mUaZz 2 Dez-- whereva u R [lylas]
BIG WILLY I WANT YOUR.......

Posted at 07:57 pm by BeautifuLxTTx

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

[.5.]

So, now im sitting here with tears coming down my face. You wanna know why right? You can know, but you don’t know how bad it hurts me. You have no idea what so ever. Dezzy is gone and I miss her so much. I never knew how much I missed her until tonight. Why did she have to call that stupid boy in the first place?!! If it wasn’t for that phone call, she would still be here. I wish she would come back, but not to live w/ her ignorant gramma. She went back to Mississippi b/c of her for one reason nd the other reason b/c of Gleek. I don’t even know how to get a hold of her right now. I need to talk to her sooo bad, but its jus been impossible. She is my best friend but I wish it wasn’t like this. I didn’t know it was gonna be like this nd I hoped that it wouldn’t, but I really don’t blame her for going back home. Her gramma is the most ignorant person on this earth nd we just hate her . Im sure that me nd Dez will share many more fun nd silly moments one day. I hope so!! Dezzy I love you..You are the friend that every girl needs. I will always be here for u no matter what, I will not jus drop you b/c u moved back home. I jus can’t do that.

Now that I got all that out, I feel soo much better. My night has been very slow nd very interesting w/ Dusko playing games on the computer..pretending to be his cousin. When he first IM’d me, I had the feeling it was him. His cousin has only IM’d me once and his cousin didn’t type like that. I knew it was him but I played w/ him for a minute.

SOULJA 409 [8:23 PM]: hello

SOULJA 409 [8:23 PM]: aslr

Tiara x araiT x [8:23 PM]: who is this

SOULJA 409 [8:23 PM]: its a boi

Tiara x araiT x [8:23 PM]: right

SOULJA 409 [8:23 PM]: yep

SOULJA 409 [8:24 PM]: so what u doin

Tiara x araiT x [8:24 PM]: umm makin pics

SOULJA 409 [8:25 PM]: let me get some

Tiara x araiT x [8:25 PM]: not right now

SOULJA 409 [8:25 PM]: ok

Tiara x araiT x [8:26 PM]: k

SOULJA 409 [8:26 PM]: but when

Tiara x araiT x [8:27 PM]: whenever i get done

SOULJA 409 [8:27 PM]: iight

Tiara x araiT x [8:28 PM]: k

SOULJA 409 [8:32 PM]: can isee it now

SOULJA 409 [8:32 PM]: u got any nude pics fo me

Tiara x araiT x [8:32 PM]: could

SOULJA 409 [8:32 PM]: let me see some

SOULJA 409 [8:34 PM]: so can i see some

SOULJA 409 [8:35 PM]: u there

SOULJA 409 [8:36 PM]: tiara is u gon send me any

SOULJA 409 [8:37 PM]: are u gon talk to me

Tiara x araiT x [8:38 PM]: u gotta pic?

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: i sended u my pic

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: rememba

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: u said u was workin on ur new ones

Tiara x araiT x [8:38 PM]: oh no u didnt send me that pic

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: and that u would send em to me

SOULJA 409 [8:38 PM]: i did

Tiara x araiT x [8:39 PM]: so quit lyin

SOULJA 409 [8:39 PM]: u said i was cute

Tiara x araiT x [8:39 PM]: whateva

Tiara x araiT x [8:39 PM]: dont wanna hear it

SOULJA 409 [8:39 PM]: u don believe me

Tiara x araiT x [8:39 PM]: nope

SOULJA 409 [8:39 PM]: i don no but u said i was cute q

SOULJA 409 [8:40 PM]: im mixed

SOULJA 409 [8:40 PM]: half blk and white

Tiara x araiT x [8:40 PM]: send it aggain

SOULJA 409 [8:40 PM]: i cant i have to download a program because i jus got my com resterted

Tiara x araiT x [8:41 PM]: rightt so here u go w/ these retarded excuses

SOULJA 409 [8:41 PM]: u don believe me how bout if i jus say that i dont have a scanner

Tiara x araiT x [8:41 PM]: ok lets just say....u dont have a pic, u didnt send it to me, and that ur lying

SOULJA 409 [8:41 PM]: srry bout lien to u

SOULJA 409 [8:42 PM]: are u mad at me

Tiara x araiT x [8:42 PM]: see there i thought so

Tiara x araiT x [8:42 PM]: i know what i be talkin about

SOULJA 409 [8:42 PM]: yeah i jus wanted to say only to get ur pic thas all

SOULJA 409 [8:43 PM]: srry

Tiara x araiT x [8:43 PM]: yeah i know all about it

SOULJA 409 [8:43 PM]: but i promise u i aint ugly

Tiara x araiT x [8:43 PM]: lol iight

SOULJA 409 [8:44 PM]: ok

SOULJA 409 [8:44 PM]: so u got a bf

Tiara x araiT x [8:44 PM]: no

Tiara x araiT x [8:44 PM]: u?

SOULJA 409 [8:44 PM]: umm im not gay

SOULJA 409 [8:45 PM]: im seeing someone but i don have a gurl

Tiara x araiT x [8:45 PM]: whats ur name

SOULJA 409 [8:45 PM]: marcus

Tiara x araiT x [8:46 PM]: oh ok

Tiara x araiT x [8:46 PM]: how old r u

SOULJA 409 [8:46 PM]: 16

Tiara x araiT x [8:46 PM]: when do you turn 17

SOULJA 409 [8:47 PM]: next year

Tiara x araiT x [8:47 PM]: tru

SOULJA 409 [8:48 PM]: so ur tiara

Tiara x araiT x [8:48 PM]: yes i am

SOULJA 409 [8:48 PM]: iight `

SOULJA 409 [8:48 PM]: so can i see ur nude pic plz

Tiara x araiT x [8:49 PM]: no

SOULJA 409 [8:49 PM]: ok if u say so

Tiara x araiT x [8:49 PM]: ur begging and thats one thing i cant stand

SOULJA 409 [8:50 PM]: iight im jus sayin

Tiara x araiT x [8:50 PM]: what side of jax?

SOULJA 409 [8:50 PM]: eastside

Tiara x araiT x [8:51 PM]: ohh

SOULJA 409 [8:51 PM]: so is u gon send it tom me im not gon to beg i jus wanna see it

Tiara x araiT x [8:52 PM]: yeahh im sure u do dusko

SOULJA 409 [8:52 PM]: whos that

Tiara x araiT x [8:52 PM]: but u shouldnt play games like that jus 2 get more pics

Tiara x araiT x [8:52 PM]: soo ttyl bye

SOULJA 409 [8:53 PM]: bye

SOULJA 409 [8:53 PM]: whos dusko

Tiara x araiT x [8:53 PM]: quit playin

SOULJA 409 [8:53 PM]: iight but whos that

Tiara x araiT x [8:53 PM]: u nigga

SOULJA 409 [8:54 PM]: man that aint me its hios cousin

Tiara x araiT x [8:54 PM]: yeah but whatever i dont care

SOULJA 409 [8:54 PM]: so can i see em

Tiara x araiT x [8:54 PM]: peace

SOULJA 409 [8:54 PM]: man why u gotta be like that

Tiara x araiT x [8:55 PM]: nah y u gotta be like that

SOULJA 409 [8:55 PM]: srry

Tiara x araiT x [8:55 PM]: y u gotta be on another sn tryin to get more pics from me when all u had to do was ask in the first place

SOULJA 409 [8:55 PM]: because u wouldnt send em

SOULJA 409 [8:55 PM]: rememba

SOULJA 409 [8:56 PM]: and i wanted to see if u was lien to me

Tiara x araiT x [8:56 PM]: well u shouldnt be ignorant all the time

SOULJA 409 [8:56 PM]: bout bois and shit

Tiara x araiT x [8:56 PM]: yeah iight i dont lie

Tiara x araiT x [8:56 PM]: and if i was with somebody i would let u know, but apparently you wont

Tiara x araiT x [8:56 PM]: but its ok because reall y i dont care who ur with

SOULJA 409 [8:57 PM]: im with noone

Tiara x araiT x [8:57 PM]: and i knew it was you from the very start

Tiara x araiT x [8:57 PM]: im not stupiddd like u think i am

Tiara x araiT x [8:57 PM]: lol

Tiara x araiT x [8:57 PM]: damn

SOULJA 409 [8:57 PM]: lol

Tiara x araiT x [8:58 PM]: so i hope you've learned ur lesson and the next time u try this...u best believe u will fail again

SOULJA 409 [8:58 PM]: lol

SOULJA 409 [8:58 PM]: so can i see em

Tiara x araiT x [8:58 PM]: no dusko not right now didnt i tell u i was doin somethin

Tiara x araiT x [8:59 PM]: sooo what r u ....blind?

SOULJA 409 [8:59 PM]: yeah

Tiara x araiT x [8:59 PM]: ok then

SOULJA 409 [8:59 PM]: daim why u all up on me

Tiara x araiT x [8:59 PM]: think about it

Tiara x araiT x [9:00 PM]: marcus

SOULJA 409 [9:00 PM]: ok

SOULJA 409 [9:00 PM]: i was jus checkin up on u

Tiara x araiT x [9:00 PM]: why do u have to check up on me

Tiara x araiT x [9:01 PM]: thats just like sayin u dont trust me when u said u did

SOULJA 409 [9:01 PM]: well i was makin sure

Tiara x araiT x [9:01 PM]: u dont tell ppl u trust them if u dont know for sure

SOULJA 409 [9:01 PM]: u jus acted wierd thats why

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: well gotta go

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: bye see ya later

Tiara x araiT x [9:02 PM]: bye

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: is u mad

Tiara x araiT x [9:02 PM]: nah im just happy u know ur plan failllllllled

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: peace ;-)

Tiara x araiT x [9:02 PM]: bye

SOULJA 409 [9:02 PM]: iight

SOULJA 409 signed off at 9:02 PM

ugh..I gotta go. I don’t have a lot to say right now, but I do have a lot on my mind.

Tiara

Posted at 08:06 pm by BeautifuLxTTx

Saturday, July 10, 2004

[.4.]

It’s veRy hot out 2day. Nothing 2much happened 2day that was exciting. I been sLeepy aLL day. I think Ima quit taking the aLLeRgy piLLs b/c I don’t ReaLLy need 2 take em. I guess I need 2 stay away fRom cig. smoke. Soo yes, u..stay away fRom me w/ dat shit. I gotta keep taking bc nd weLLbutRin tho.

Soo anywayz, I am absoLuteLy done w/ DanieL. I hate him. I don’t even know y. Its juss something theRe that I can’t ReaLLy point out. Oh weLL. I gotta cRush on PabLo! He is so beautifuL I think... He said he wants 2 "hook up" haha. I think ima tRy it tho. ALthough I do have some doubts... I don’t wanna taLk about it Right now. But im say’n man...he got aLL u boyzzzzzzzzz beat. LoL. Im not suRe if we hook’d up eaRLieR this moRning oR wat...I think I toLd him that I wouLd think about some things.

The most impoRtant paRt of this journaL is something I tRuLy can’t b’lieve happened the otheR day. ::FIGHTY DIED:: Its soo damn unb’LievabLe. Its Like damn, cuz I ReaLLy Loved him nd he wouLd aLways wanna pLay w/ me. I Love ya Fighty nd I wiLL aLwayz RemembeR u! SpoiLed LiL thing. :’(. R.I.P. *MUAH*

-IM OUT- HOLLER AT U BABII!-

Posted at 04:45 pm by BeautifuLxTTx
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Wednesday, July 07, 2004

[.3.]

::Music:: Whiskey Lullaby
::TaLk'n 2:: BRad

I had 2 get up at 7:15 this moRning. I went 2 the doctoR. My resuLts weRe - I have a smaLL infection nd my other resuLt is unknown Right now. They aRe be'n called pRe-canceRous ceLLs. So, they have 2 take the sLide fRom the pap 2 anotheR Lab 2 c if canceR is pResent nd if they can't deteRmine if theRe ReaLLy is canceR theRe, then I have 2 take anotheR pap smeaR, but a diffeRent type of pap smeaR wheRe they fReeze some ceLLs on my ceRvix nd then scRape the "fRozen" ceLLs off. heh. I gotta do it at a diffeRent office aLso. :-|

I am on moRe medications now. Medicine foR my infection, 2 types of aLLeRgy piLLs, some Nasonex, anti-depRessant piLLs nd biRth contRoL. I gotta take aLL of em eveRyday man. HopefuLLy I won't b dRowsy. I go back in about 2 moRe weeks. Sux 4 me tho.

Me nd Dan R soRta taLk'n again. Not as much as we used 2. I wanna keep it that way tho. It's good.

I met a boy named Sam Last night. He's a cutie pie. He bRought me Subway. How sweet huh...I was staRving 2. Yeah, we went 2 WaL-MaRt nd I got some fLip fLops juss 2 weaR 2 the doctoR. I need 2 go 2 dah maLL so bad. He got me a Spongebob posteR 2..hehehehehehe. He doesn't say much. I guess it's b/c he juss met me nd ya'LL know how I am I wiLL taLk ya 2 death. But, he pRetty coo actuaLLy.

I think me nd my ma aRe go'n 2 Panama this weekend. I feeL Like juss stay'n heRe fukk'n dRink'n nd juss chiLLen, watch'n movies nd stuff. Juss chiLL. I haven't done that in a Long time nd it juss sounds so good.

Posted at 12:27 pm by BeautifuLxTTx
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Thursday, July 01, 2004

[.2.]

::CRAMPS:: :| Im pRetty sick this moRning. Im supposed 2 b go'n shopp'n when my ma get off woRk. I am gLad im the onLy chiLd now. Even moRe spoiLed. YesteRday... I went to WaL- MaRt ( woo hoo :\ ) to look 4 anotheR web cam. I found one. My ma said she wass gonna get it 4 me today. She spent aLL heR money on *something*. Ya, yesteRday she had 2 go 2 dah doctoR nd we Rode w/ Mrs. Ivory. She's fun 2 taLk 2. HeR gRandson LiL TRoy is so fine.....I went 2 ALachua aLso....2 get Nessa's Tyrese. 5 yR oLd. I shouLdn't have ate Mc DonaLd's yesteRday...I think this is why im sick today. Them fRies...

My oLdest sisteR Amy went 2 jaiL Monday...CamiLLe's daddy wass stepp'n on heR phone nd she beat em up nd cut em...PooR thing...haha. She gotta take some angeR management cLass. Lucky they didn't chaRge her w/ attempted muRdeR...ahhh vioLence.

5 moRe dayz tiL I go 2 dah doctoR : |

*I Luh Mat* Xxo .TT. oxX

[.Listening 2.] ---FURB---

Posted at 06:42 am by BeautifuLxTTx

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

[.1.]

I made another bLog. I need'd 2. WeLL, my Life has been so busy! LoL. As if. I been kinda shady 2 eveRyone, except 4 a few. Don’t ReaLLy feeL Like be’n botheRed w/ these Lake City ppL. They R wack... You juss wouLdn’t b’Lieve.

Me nd Dan R supposiveLy sepaRated. He keeps caLL’n tho. WeLL, I wouLdn’t ReaLLy caLL it be’n sepaRated ------ We R go’n ouR sepaRate wayz tiL things can get betteR. Right now, things aRen’t go’n 2 woRk out 2 weLL. We Love eachotheR nd we aLwayz wiLL Love eachotheR nd no one can eveR change that. I wiLL b the motheR of his childRen soon enough. I can’t wait Dan!! Even though I decided that we need’d 2 b separated or w/e I stiLL Love u, nd I know u stiLL Love me nd I know u miss taLk’n 2 me.

N e how, nothing’s been go’n on in my Life LateLy. EveRy one has been a totaL boRe. ALL summeR. BRad is supposiveLy coming up this weekend....I b’Lieve he is Lying. I know boyz way 2 gewd. They can’t fooL me n e moRe.

I met a kidd named Matt 2 dayz ago. I caLL him Matty. I think I Like him. We been taLk’n on dah phone foR houRs nd houRs. AppaRently his fav. woRd is what? I hate Repeating myseLf tho. So...I juss say...what??. hehe. Uh, he is taLL nd cute nd he gotta caR. We get aLong ReaLLy good. It’s unb’LievabLe. I do enjoy taLk’n 2 him. He Live 80 something miLe’s away tho. That sux... Y he gotta Live so faR 4??

Ok..I’ve been tRy’n 2 b happy since 2 yesteRday...afteR dah doctoR’s caLLed. I went to dah doctoR June 2^nd foR a pap smeaR. I wass supposed 2 go bacc in August. WeLL, now I have 2 go back immediateLy, which is next Tuesday. A pap smeaR is done 2 detect canceR oR bacteRia in the Uterus/ceRvix. I wiLL Let u conceRned ppL know what’s up. I hope it’s nothing 2 seRious. :|

Im woRk'n on a new page...It shouLd be done soon. Xxo .TT. oxX

Posted at 06:50 am by BeautifuLxTTx
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